I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
