Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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