Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
