is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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