He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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