like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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