Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
my sisters under your porch take her home
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
In other news, I just burned my penis
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
