Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
