am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
