spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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