never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize