Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
