Reggie can tackle my bush.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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