girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
