I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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