ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
