Duck Duck Cougar?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Randomize
