Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
