I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
