Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I FOUND THE LEGS
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
