he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
