i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
