You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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