my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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