i just wanna soil my oats bro
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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