isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize