This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Randomize
