Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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