i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
