I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
