Is it normal to miss your booty call?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
