I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
