He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
