I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Randomize
