i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
