she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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