What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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