We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
