i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I have aggressive nipples.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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