If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
