no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
he's single and there are thong briefs.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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