now i know why i became what i already was.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize