You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Randomize
