stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
