I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
