I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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