So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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