I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Oh god it's open bar.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
