He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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