uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
