So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
This baby is an asshole
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
