The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
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