Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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