He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
All I want is dick and wine.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
