Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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