i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
