babies were throwing up all over the place
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
