so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I will be naked everywhere
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
