You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize