She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Randomize
