i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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