FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
