Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
It's shark week go big or go home
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
