New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
