Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Still dying that you shit outside
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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