nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
