Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
You smell like stripper and shame
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
