Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
God, I missed his penis.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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