so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
So here I am, sexting at work.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
