the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
