Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
