so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
