Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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